Monarch Tides

This month has been one of those months that has felt chaotic from the very beginning. I’ve felt as though I’m on a treadmill without a stop, or even a slow-down, button. Just constantly running, trying to keep up, and wondering when I might catch a break.

There is always something to do. Add motherhood, a relationship, work, and the household tasks that somehow multiply overnight, and even the smallest things can start to feel heavy.

Lately, I found myself feeling grumpy and out of sorts. I wasn’t quite myself, and I couldn’t immediately figure out why. Was I just exhausted? Did I need a good night’s sleep? Was there something deeper going on?

Eventually, I realized how worn down I felt by the everyday demands. So much in my life could be going well, and I could still feel overwhelmed by the effort of keeping everything moving. I loved my family. I loved the life we were building. I also needed a little room to breathe.

I wanted a day without a list. A little time when nobody needed anything from me and I could simply decide what I felt like doing.

So I took myself out for a matcha and went to sit by the lake.

I took a picture of the beautiful fall surroundings, and then I just sat. There was no task to finish and no reason to rush through the moment. For a little while, I let sitting by the water be enough.

It was such a small thing, but it gave me space to notice how much I had needed the quiet.

The guilt that comes with taking a break

That afternoon got me thinking about how difficult it can be, as a mother, to take time for yourself without feeling guilty.

Even when we finally sit down, our minds can keep running through everything we “should” be doing. There is laundry waiting. Someone needs something. There is always another way we could give a little more.

Somewhere along the way, many of us have absorbed the idea that being a good mother or partner means giving every piece of ourselves to the people we love. Taking an afternoon alone can start to feel “selfish,” even when we are completely worn out.

But we are still human beings, with our own needs, interests, and limits. Becoming a mother doesn’t erase the woman who enjoys wandering through a bookstore, drinking something warm while it is still warm, or spending a few quiet minutes with her own thoughts.

I’m learning to make room for her, too.

You deserve care, too

When I’m stretched too thin, I notice it in the way I move through my day. My patience feels shorter. Little frustrations seem bigger. Even the things I usually enjoy can begin to feel like one more responsibility.

A little time alone gives me a chance to settle, enjoy something for myself, and return with more room for connection.

And while I love what that can mean for my family, I’m also learning that I deserve care simply because I’m a person who needs it. Every restful moment doesn’t have to earn its place by making me more productive afterward.

We talk so much about showing up for the people we love. I want to practice showing up for myself with some of that same tenderness.

There will still be hard days. I will still lose my patience sometimes. One quiet afternoon won’t make motherhood effortless, and I don’t expect it to. It can, however, offer a little relief in the middle of a demanding season.

Small ways to find a little peace

Of course, a whole day to yourself isn’t always possible. Finding childcare, coordinating schedules, and making space in an already full week can be difficult. Sometimes the break we can manage is much smaller.

It might look like:

● Taking a warm bath after the kids are asleep.

● Reading a chapter of a book just because you want to.

● Watching a movie you have been looking forward to.

● Taking a walk alone while someone you trust watches the children.

● Getting a coffee or matcha and browsing a few shops at your own pace.

● Sitting outside for ten quiet minutes without catching up on anything.

Choose something that feels restful to you. You don’t need an elaborate plan or a beautiful place to make that time count.

Sometimes making space also means asking for help: “I’m feeling worn down, and I need a little time to myself this week.” That can feel uncomfortable to say, especially when you are used to managing everything. It is still a need worth expressing.

Giving ourselves permission

If there is one thing I hope you take from this, it is that you are allowed to take a break before you reach the point of having nothing left to give.

You can love your children deeply and enjoy an afternoon alone. You can feel grateful for your life and tired from all that it asks of you. There is room for all of those feelings.

I know the guilt doesn’t always disappear just because we tell ourselves it should. Perhaps we can start by noticing it without letting it make every decision. We can practice accepting help, leaving a few things unfinished, and allowing ourselves moments that belong to us.

That afternoon by the lake didn’t finish my to-do list. I still had responsibilities waiting when I got home. But for a little while, I had given myself permission to pause, and I came home glad that I had.

So if you have been feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. I hope you find a little space this week to do something that brings you peace, however small.

For me, it started with a matcha and a quiet place by the water. Maybe your own little moment is waiting, too.